Smoking Keeps you Calm?
I’ve worked with a lot of people to quit smoking. In doing this, I have heard all kinds of reasons that it might be better if they kept smoking.
Smoking helps you think, relaxes you, de-stresses you, keeps you from getting upset at your family, tastes good with coffee, tastes really good after a meal. Basically, makes things “better” and makes you feel “better”.
You don’t believe these reasons. Not really. If you did, you wouldn’t also want to quit smoking. Right? Actually you CAN have it both ways. You can believe your reasons to smoke at the same time you don’t believe them. It is the difference between ‘knowing’ something and ‘feeling’ something.
The obvious and overlooked part is you must have a strong reason to continue smoking or you would have already stopped. By the way, there is no law that says your reason to keep smoking has to make any logical sense. It rarely does.
Almost all of the reasons you continue smoking can easily be proven wrong. Example: Maybe smoking helps you relax during work breaks because you get away and go outside to do it.
And most of the time you’re AWARE it doesn’t make sense. That doesn’t change anything though, does it? Just one more log to toss on the fire of your motivation to quit. A fire that doesn’t have much chance against the ocean of your craving to smoke.
It all comes down to two things. The belief that smoking will make you feel better and what you’re trying to feel better than. That’s it.
If you’re thirsty you crave something to drink. If you’re hungry you crave food. If you feel bad (tired, stressed, overwhelmed, angry, lonely, whatever…) you want to feel good. And, whatever your mind has been taught feels good, you will crave.
This is an only slightly simplified explanation of a craving. Most smokers have more than one type of craving like, the ‘first thing in the morning’ craving feels different than the ‘after lunch’ craving. But the same model applies.
SO, how do you change these things? I can write on and on about this (and I have on my web site) It will come down to changing the feelings, motivations and beliefs involved.
First, the bad feeling needs to be helped. If it’s about stress, get it managed, if it’s a difficult situation, do what you can to take care of it or get some help. If it’s a bad feeling you get that is beyond what the situation deserves, behavior modification might be what you need.
Second, the ‘looking to feel better’ side of things needs to be updated. (it’s common that this is about mistaken beliefs, formed when young, that smoking is about being an adult, in control, strong willed, independent, etc…) Of course, a cigarette is only leaf and chemicals wrapped in paper. The good feeling is the emotions your mind has attached to this action. It could just as easily be ice cream or cookies that your mind has attached good feelings with.
And there’s the trick for most people. Successfully quitting smoking is much easier after changing these emotional connections. People don’t often think of this. That is why the success rate of medication and nicotine replacement alone is so poor. The only current exception is Chantix and even Pfizer, the makers of Chantix, recommend behavior modification along with their medication.
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